Sunday, May 12, 2013

Happy Mother's Day - Blogged by JME

My amazingly beautiful and talented sister took these pictures a year ago today. 

Today is my first Mother's Day as a mother. 

For a long time I hated Mother's Day.  It was the most dreaded day of the year for me.  I remember one Mother's Day that was particularly difficult.  N8 had been home for about 7-8 months after an 18-month deployment when he received orders to be gone for yet another year, this time to Germany.  It turned out to be a wonderful experience, but at the time my heart was broken.  Not only was I losing my best friend for another year but dreams of starting our family were again being delayed. 

As I sat in church during that Mother's Day sacrament meeting, I tried holding back my tears, my arms feeling so very empty.  I watched the little children walk up to the front to sing to their mothers.  A woman who had a brand new baby approached me.  She didn't know me well at all, but asked if I would hold her precious bundle  while she went to the front to help with the rest of the children.  I held that sweet little newborn in my arms and felt a warm comfort fill my heart.  I looked right into that little baby's eyes and knew that this was a tender mercy from my Father in Heaven.  I felt that my Heavenly Father knew that I needed to hold that infant.  At that moment, I felt very strongly that He was aware of me and that in His time, I would be a mommy.

As I look back now on the long years I waited to be a mother, I can see many opportunities and tender mercies that the Lord blessed me with to be a mother to children that weren't mine.  I was able to love and nurture my sweet little nephews and have almost always had callings in the primary, serving and teaching the little children in my ward.  Even though the blessing of being a mom to my own child didn't come right away, I can see that the Lord's hand was in my life, teaching me and helping me grow.  I am grateful for His timing and for the lessons He taught me that have helped me grow and become the mother I'm now able to be to my own child. 
Today, nothing is sweeter to me than hearing my June Bug try to say 'mama,' or getting her out of her crib in the morning after being away from her all night, smelling her and seeing her hair all a mess, loving her little arms around me and her slobbery open-mouthed kisses.  I love watching her face light up when I walk into a room.  I love to hear her giggle. 

She sure has taken me on the hardest ride of my life, but I've loved every minute of being her mommy.  The sacrifices I've made, the sleep I've lost, and meals I've missed have made me love my daughter even more.  All of those sacrifices have also helped me realize more of what my own mother has done for me in my life.  I'm so grateful for her, for the good examples she has set for me, and for all that she has done to make me who I am.  I'm grateful for N8's mom and for the things she has done for my family and for all that she did to help N8 become the wonderful man that he is.  I'm also so grateful for some of the women in my life, my close friends, that may be a little older than me and a little wiser, that have helped be a mom to me in a way, even though I am not their daughter. 

To all of you beautiful women, happy Mother's Day!